However, many on the Internet announced Depp as the clear “winner” before the jury even started a discussion, but the details that emerged, combined with the public nature of the case, led to mixed messages for teenagers and young adults as they watched it unfold on social media. media. .
One high school girl I spoke to commented that most of her male peers seemed to be celebrating by posting “Justice for Johnny” in her Instagram stories. Another called for clarification of the term “mutual abuse”. My own teenage daughter handed me her phone and asked me to talk to her because she didn’t pay attention to the process, but some of her friends apparently did.
I am worried about internalized messages that may arise from a case that demonstrates relationship toxicity and normalized violence in a relationship. While the case focused on defamation lawsuits, shared (both shared and shared) content focused on an unstable relationship that was widely sensational in social media applications. The nuances of victimization are difficult to identify from short videos full of playful melodies.
Violence in meetings between teenagers and young adults is not uncommon. Statistics collected by the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia show that 1 in 3 teenagers in the United States is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse by a dating partner. A study led by the Children’s Hospital on intimate partner violence found that victimization began to increase at age 13, showed a sharp increase between the ages of 15 and 17, and continued to rise between the ages of 18 and 22. Teenagers and young adults need accurate information about developing healthy intimate relationships and how to get help if a relationship becomes aggressive or violent. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention characterizes teen dating violence as an adverse childhood experience that can have short- and long-term consequences, including depression and anxiety, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, and the risk of future relationship problems. As a therapist, I hear a lot of language normalization that invalidates identifying LGBTQIA women and youth, jokes that push boundaries and make young people uncomfortable, peer pressure on sex and intimacy, and aggression in relationships that remains uncontrollable. and unauthorized.
Young people do not know how to deal with complex relationships without the support and education to establish healthy boundaries. Parents can take this opportunity to talk to teens and teenagers about dating violence and how to develop healthy dating relationships.
Create a safe space
Creating a safe space to talk to teenagers is helpful in understanding the dynamics of what happens in their daily lives away from home. In fact, teenagers tell me that they crave talking to adults, but they worry about judgment and answers.
“Reaffirming their emotions is important because young relationships can be incredibly emotional,” said Alison Trenk, a licensed clinical social worker and relationship therapist who works with teens and young adults. “They try to meet only a handful of years of life experience.”
But don’t start trying to solve their problems right away – Trenk warns that if you immediately react, it will turn off the conversation.
Parents become a trusted source for their children as they slow down and take the time to listen, acknowledge emotions that share complex feelings, and share accurate information and resources to help their teens cope. “First, confirm the strong feelings so you can talk about the nuances of intimate relationships,” Trenk said.
Talk about a healthy relationship
It is a mistake to assume that teenagers know everything they need to know about developing healthy relationships by watching role models. They need specific guidance.
Trenk suggests encouraging teenagers to explore their values and how they relate to relationships: “One question you can ask is, how do you move toward a healthy relationship that is in line with your values?”
Healthy relationships are built on trust, honesty and respect. Start with these values, but ask your teen to add them. Together, you can create a cloud of words of values that, when used in intimate relationships, build strong bonds.
Guess the warning signs
Relationships between teenagers can feel both exciting and captivating. It’s easy to get lost in the highs, but you miss some early warning signs of disaster in a relationship.
Intense jealousy and controversy, controlling behavior, constant monitoring in Snap Maps or tracking applications, excessive communication, unnecessary criticism, and requests from a partner to keep secrets about behavior within a relationship are signs of an unhealthy relationship.
Examine the problems around power
“If teenagers are looking for a relationship, using force is not helpful,” Trenk said. “Uneven power distribution leads to disconnection.”
Talk to your teens about differences in power that may arise in the context of relationships. In healthy relationships, power is evenly distributed. Everyone retains their individuality and feels free to express themselves because their relationship is built on mutual respect. This is an example of positive power.
On the other hand, differences in power can arise when one partner uses manipulation or force to neutralize the other and gain control of the relationship. This development can occur gradually in teenage relationships.
Learn assertiveness skills
All teenagers need to learn to set healthy boundaries and stand up for their feelings and needs in a relationship. The boundary is a clear line that your teen draws to maintain a healthy relationship and can include physical, emotional, sexual, financial and time boundaries. Help your teen build healthy boundaries and communicate them to a partner.
Adhering to boundaries can be difficult for teenagers, who often face pressure from a variety of sources. Practice at home by participating in a role play with your teenager or encouraging your teenager to practice in the mirror.
Seek help
If you notice changes in your teen’s behavior, including mood swings, eating and sleeping habits, academic difficulties, loss of interest in daily activities, avoiding friends, irritability, or highly reactive behavior, seek help for your teen. While open and honest communication in supportive language is a great start, you don’t have to go through it alone. A licensed mental health professional can help your teen and you navigate this difficult time.
If you or someone you know is in a violent relationship, help is available on the National Dating Abuse Helpline at 866-331-9474.
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