As many mothers of young children celebrate with homemade cards and sticky kisses for Mother’s Day, mothers of teenagers may wonder why their children just look annoyed by their presence.
“My daughter is the best eye roller in the world. I think most of the things I do irritate her, “said Catherine Henderson, a clinical psychologist in Ottawa.
She and other experts say that if this happens in your home, it is normal and may even be a sign of a healthy mother-child relationship. The science of teen brain development also explains it.
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Although it has long been known that the brain of teenagers is connected differently than that of a child or adult, a remarkable study published last month outlines brain development throughout life and shows important stages of neurodevelopment in adolescence.
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“It was quite unknown quantitatively how large the human brain is and how it usually varies from population to population,” said Jacob Seidlitz, a postdoctoral fellow at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia and the University of Pennsylvania who is a contributor to the journal Nature.
Based on more than 120,000 MRI scans and extracts from more than 100 studies, representing more than 100,000 people from prenatal to 100 years of age, researchers are charting the development of the human brain throughout life.
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Research has shown that adolescence is a unique point in brain development, just as it is a unique time in physical, social and emotional development. In the same way that the weight, height and circumference of a child’s head can be mapped for different ages, now brain architecture can also be.
The brain begins to grow in the womb, is approximately half its full size at birth and reaches its maximum size in mid-puberty. It then gradually decreases in size for the rest of its life.
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As the brain grows, different structures and areas mature at different rates. The study found that subcortical or deep gray matter, a region with many roles, including emotional control, peaked in mid-adolescence. Meanwhile, the amount of gray matter in the brain peaks before that, in early school age, and decreases with adolescence, while the amount of white matter or the connections between brain cells continues to increase until it reaches its peak after 28 years.
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These models of brain development also help explain how teenagers respond to the basic tasks of adolescence. Teenagers move from more concrete to abstract thinking and learn to solve problems in more complex ways. They separate from their parents and form their own identity.
“Teenagers have a hard time modulating their emotions,” said Dr. Alain Tulani, a pediatrician in adolescent medicine at Toronto Children’s Hospital.
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An emotional line that “sounds like a bell for an adult, sounds like a gong for a teenager” – it is strong and intense. That’s part of the reason they have a big and strong reaction, “Tulani said. “They are not trying to get annoyed. They just are, ”she said.
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“What often seems very unpredictable and intense to a parent is actually quite predictable,” Tulani said. “I expect conflict between teenagers and their parents.”
“The fact that parents become less annoying to their children over time is a beautiful description of brain development,” she said.
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The challenge for parents, Henderson says, is to recognize that behavior means that the child needs more space to take risks, try new things, and develop his or her personality.
“They don’t want to end the relationship,” Henderson said, although it may seem so on the surface. “It may be harder for parents to stay in this deep unconditional love and place, but teenagers need it,” she said.
“If kids get bored with their parents, it’s usually because they feel confident to express themselves,” Henderson said.
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If parents can stay in their teens while the brain matures, Henderson adds that by the 20s and 30s, their values and behaviors “usually look very similar to their parents, although they may not have looked that way in adolescence.” “.
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One finding from brain mapping research is that for most teenagers, their brains will continue to mature in a predictable way as they reach adulthood.
Henderson’s advice for parents? “Hold on” and put on noise-canceling headphones. The rolling eye is not a sign of disrespect. In fact, I think it shows security in the relationship, to be able to disagree, “says Henderson.
– Michelle Ward is a pediatrician, associate professor and journalist in Ottawa.
© 2022 The Canadian Press
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