When did the National Rifle Association become such a gang of fools?
During their congress in Texas just days after the horrific massacre at a nearby elementary school, defenders called for teachers to be armed and for a police presence in classrooms. But as the saying goes, go big or go home.
D. Alan Kerr
The answer to stop the mass shootings in our schools is right in front of us, but no one wants to say it. So I will do it.
It’s time to arm the children themselves. If the answer to gun violence is more weapons, this is really the most logical solution.
Now we have to be reasonable about that. Obviously, we do not want kindergartens to run around and shoot accidentally with their little fingers, so we will have to establish a rational age requirement. Let’s say maybe 10 years old. I want to say that this is the age at which children must be familiar with guns anyway if they want to grow up in the United States.
The children could show up in their classroom in the morning, recite their oath of allegiance, and then receive their weapons for the day. Just before the last bell, they would hand over their weapons to their teacher so that they could be safely locked until the next morning. After all, these are not toys – they should only be for defensive purposes.
Initially, I thought that Uzi submachine guns were the most sensible for every student because of their sheer firepower against any potential attacker, but I decided that this might be too much firepower for the younger ones to handle. Then I decided that they should at least have semi-automatic rifles AR-15, as this seems to be the preferred weapon for some of the more scandalous mass shootings we have experienced.
But AR-15, no matter how bulky, would not actually be as practical for younger students, who also carry textbooks, backpacks and the like. So a more logical choice would be a simple pistol, such as the Glock 9 mm, which would be more compact and far easier to carry than students between classes. What they would lose in individual capacity would be more than offset by the availability of 9 mm. In other words, imagine a potential mass shooter breaking into a classroom, only to be confronted almost instantly by the barrels of at least 15 to 20 pistols.
The story continues
Of course. children will need to be trained to use their weapons. The target shooting exercise at the school shooting range can be included in their regular physical education classes. In fact, we may just need to review the entire physical education curriculum. Dodgeball and badminton need to be replaced by significantly more active shooting and hand-to-hand training.
I know that the more cautious types will complain that arming students – or even just teachers in this sense – can create opportunities for additional cross-fire casualties, but here come these exercises. Just think – we could end up with a whole nation of small mini-Rambos.
As for children under the age of ten who would be too young to carry a weapon at school – because that would be foolish – we would probably have to build watchtowers and high barbed wire fences, like the ones they had in concentration World War II camps. Smaller schools may not have the resources to fund extra security, but in these situations we could get older students to run the towers. And then maybe we can get the uzit back.
Think about it – high school children could volunteer to protect younger students as part of their education or community service. They can even earn credits through a job training program if they want to work as prison guards or similar after graduation.
I know this all sounds like bold steps, but it is time for bold action. Honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t heard anyone else come up with such a brilliant plan.
Even Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, one of the powerful intellects of our age, has only gone so far as to recommend closing more doors and adding more security guards to schools. The NRA has been pushing to arm teachers for at least a decade, not the students who are usually the target of these attacks.
Quite weak approaches, if you ask me. How will children learn to take care of themselves if we continue to pamper them?
And perhaps the armament of the population should be extended to other institutions. Just like in the past, when we had a smoking and non-smoking section in restaurants and other places, we may have “carry” and “non-carry” sections in the future. There was a time when I would not have foreseen armed parishioners to become commonplace in places of worship, but since churches have been targeted almost as much as public schools in recent years, this was the inevitable decision.
Honestly, what could be more stellar American today than the sight of young people marching in Sunday school with a Bible in one hand and 9 mm in the other?
D. Alan Kerr is a journalist and author living in Kitty, Maine.
This article originally appeared in the Portsmouth Herald: Kerr: Do you want to stop school shootings? Let’s just arm the kids
Add Comment