Sarah Rubach has been completely sober from alcohol since April 2019 after years of drinking.
Alcohol used to be a fun, social activity for Sarah, which turned into something she did at home, and with it came an increase in anxiety and mental health problems.
Now, the 46-year-old has never been a fierce alcoholic, but instead has been a “drunk in the gray area” – consuming more than a moderate amount a week, but not enough to rely on it.
“Looking back, I’ve always loved to drink and I wanted to connect with others,” Sarah, who is from the UK but lives in Australia, told FEMAIL.
She drank her first drink at the age of 15 and continued to drink regularly in her early 40s.
Today, she is proud to be one of Australia’s first gray-field drinking coaches and has helped hundreds of women change their relationships with alcohol.
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Sarah Rusbach (pictured) drank her first drink at age 15 and her last drink at age 46
Alcohol was once a fun, social activity for Sarah, which turned into something she did at home, and with it came an increase in anxiety and mental health problems.
Sarah is from Manchester, UK, but now lives in Perth, Western Australia with her husband and two young children.
During her 20s, while at university, Sarah and her friends drank every few days “with the intention of getting drunk,” and then, after graduating, she moved to London and worked in recruitment.
“I used alcohol as a tool to speed up the process of getting to know someone; “I became friends very quickly and we told each other all our secrets,” she said.
“In the 1990s, no one was worried about the effects of alcohol on health, and there was never a reason to drink – it was almost a sign of honor.”
When she started working full time, Sarah switched to drinking wine instead of beer several times a week because she had “more money than ever.”
What is “drinking in the gray area”?
Gray drinking can be described as a category of people who have a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol but are not physically dependent on it.
Sarah suggested imagining different drinking habits on a scale of 1 to 10
One would be someone who rarely drinks, and 10 would be someone who is physically dependent on alcohol and needs medical attention to stop drinking.
Sarah said that these two ends of the rock were “extreme” and did not include many people
Someone who has a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol, who may be drunk in the gray area, is likely to fall between five or eight on the scale
Recalling her daily routine, she started in the morning by going to the gym and drinking cabbage smoothies – then getting drunk in the pub after work.
“I would sleep five or six hours after a night of drinking, but I didn’t think about it, it was the norm and what everyone was doing, so I never questioned it,” she said.
“Nobody has a car in London, so we shouldn’t have thought I was driving tonight so I couldn’t drink,” she said.
This went on for several years before taking a 12-month break to travel to Australia, where she met her current husband, Angus, in January 2002.
The couple married in 2006 and then moved to Perth in 2010 before having their first child, William, that same year.
Sarah became pregnant again in 2011 with their second child, Scarlett, and did not drink during any of the pregnancies or while breastfeeding.
“Looking back, I’ve always loved to drink and I’ve longed to connect with others,” Sarah from the UK, but living in Australia, told FEMAIL.
Since 2011, Sarah’s drinking habits have begun to change.
For me, drinking went from something I did to socialize to my reward at the end of the day, ”she said, adding,“ I always drank with other people and never alone, but being a mother meant that I’m home. a day without anyone else to talk to.
Because Australia was not her home country, Sarah also had no friends or family to rely on, which made her feel completely unhappy and lonely.
She began using alcohol as a “way out” or “as a reward” at the end of the day, leading to the unconscious construction of a set of “rules” she would always break – such as drinking just one glass at 5 p.m. but drank a whole bottle.
“I never drank alone with the kids and I didn’t drink every day, so I didn’t consider myself an alcoholic,” she said.
“But when you’ve been drinking constantly all your adult life, it catches up with you.”
Sarah said she always felt anxious, cried a lot and was prescribed anti-anxiety pills by her GP.
On top of that, she suffered from Gilbert’s syndrome (liver disease) and her estrogen levels dropped.
From 2011, Sarah’s drinking habits began to change after she became the mother of two beautiful children. Because Australia was not her home country, Sarah also had no friends or family to rely on, which made her feel completely unhappy and lonely. She began using alcohol as a “way out” or “as a reward” at the end of the day
In 2017, Sarah decided to take part in a 21-day detox, which lasted up to 100 days, and felt “absolutely amazing.”
It wasn’t until 2017, when a party incident occurred, that Sarah began to question her habits.
“I really got drunk at a friend’s 40th birthday party, went out for a cigarette and knelt forward on my heels to turn off the fapa,” she said.
But she lost her balance, leaning forward and landing face first in the concrete, injuring her face and splitting her lip.
“The next day I looked like someone had beaten me, I felt so ashamed,” she said, adding that she should also attend her daughter’s blue-faced dance concert.
“I was so uncomfortable … then I decided I couldn’t do it anymore,” she said.
Revealed: The long-term effects of regular heavy drinking
Brain: Excessive drinking can affect your concentration, judgment, mood and memory. This increases the risk of stroke and the development of dementia.
Heart: Heavy drinking raises your blood pressure and can lead to heart damage and heart attacks.
Liver: Drinking three to four standard drinks a day increases the risk of developing liver cancer. Prolonged drinking also puts you at increased risk for liver cirrhosis (scarring) and death.
Stomach: Drinking even one to two standard drinks a day increases the risk of stomach and intestinal cancer, as well as stomach ulcers.
Fertility: Regular drinking reduces testosterone levels in men, sperm count and fertility. In women, excessive drinking can affect their cycle.
Source: Health Direct
It takes three weeks for your body to fully recover from alcohol, with the initial stages starting after the first 12 hours.
From there, Sarah decided to take part in a 21-day detox, which lasted up to 100 days, and she felt “absolutely amazing.”
‘I couldn’t believe the difference; I had more energy, I was motivated and slept better, I was happier and I felt a dark cloud rise from my head, “she said.
“I thought I was fine and I obviously had no problem.”
But unfortunately, a few weeks later, she returned to where she started.
What continued was two years of moderating her drinking habits, and in April 2019, she drank her last alcoholic beverage.
In 2020, she started her coaching business, helping other women who were “drunk in the gray area.”
“We don’t realize that you can still have a drinking problem, even if you don’t drink alcohol every day,” Sarah said.
What continued was two years of moderating her drinking habits, and in April 2019, she drank her last alcoholic beverage. In 2020, she started her coaching business, helping other women who are “drinkers in the gray area”
When asked to describe what drinking in the gray area is, Sarah said she imagined drinking habits on a scale of 1 to 10 – one is someone who rarely drinks and 10 is someone who relied on alcohol.
“For me, those who drink in the gray area are those who identify as having a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol, but are not physically dependent on it – somewhere between five and eight on the scale,” she said.
To determine if you are a “gray area drinker,” Sarah suggested asking a series of questions, including whether you use alcohol as a reward or to deal with uncomfortable emotions, whether you have a set of “rules,” or whether you keep thinking about drinking.
She encourages others with different types of alcohol problems to be open-minded, take time off alcohol, and join support communities.
Through her coaching business, Sarah has created an online community that helps sober curious women as well as challenge without alcohol.
To join the community, click here, and to read more about Sarah’s no-alcohol challenge, which has already seen thousands of women successfully change their relationship with alcohol, click here.
What to expect when you stop drinking
Within 12-24 hours: Detoxification begins and blood sugar returns to normal.
During this period, you may experience withdrawal symptoms, including sweating, anxiety, depression, and insomnia.
Within a week: The quality of sleep should improve and you should start to feel more energetic and hydrated.
Within two weeks: Weight loss can begin by cutting out the hidden calories in alcohol.
Within three to four weeks: Blood pressure stabilizes.
Source: Dry July
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