OAKLAND, Calif. — During the third inning Saturday night, Kavan Bijo hit a single, arrived at first base and found Luis Hurtado fielding there in place of Mark Budzinski. What’s going on, he asked?
Not everyone knew yet at that point, but a few innings later, the news that Budzinski’s 17-year-old daughter Julia had died in a boating accident reached him and others, immediate shock and heartache along with it.
“I go up for my third at-bat and it was a meaningless at-bat, that’s how I felt. I’ve never had that feeling before in my life,” Bijo recalls. “It’s a big league game against a great team and I didn’t have a lot of baseball going through my head at that point. Certainly something like this offers some perspective and makes you look back in your corner. My mind and heart immediately went out to Mark and his family.”
Separating the sadness from the grief was nearly impossible for the Toronto Blue Jays to wrap up this 11-5 loss to the Tampa Bay Rays on Saturday, and it didn’t get any easier on Sunday or Monday when they opened a series against the Oakland Athletics with a lethargic loss with 5-1.
Baseball doesn’t stop, which can make the game a necessary escape from reality or even harder to come to terms with the incomprehensible. Charlie Montoyo learned that the hard way when his son Alex was in hospital fighting for his life and he pulled out of Durham Bulls games to be by his side.
Some of that hit Montoyo when he learned of Julia’s death and prompted him to hand the reins to bench coach John Schneider so he could help care for Budzinksi in the clubhouse.
“That’s what I felt the other day when I had to tell Mark to come inside so he could learn the news,” Montoyo said. “I said, ‘OK, I’m done with this game, it’s more important to be with my friend.’
Two weeks earlier, the Montoyo and Budzinski families were together for morning mass at the dome, and “Julia was basically hanging with Alex all day,” said Montoyo, who added that the strength of Budzinski’s faith was evident immediately afterward.
“Some people might say that, but when something like this happens, he’s (a man of faith),” Montoyo said. “He’s strong in the way he’s dealt with it and he’s written a note to the team that’s going through it to keep going and see you soon and all that stuff, it’s amazing.”
The Blue Jays discussed not playing Sunday when Montoyo said “you could tell everybody felt it,” while there were fresh reminders of the loss Monday as the Athletics honored Julia with a moment of silence while the Blue Jays had theirs initials, JB , emblazoned on their caps.
There wasn’t much energy for them either, especially after Manoa allowed three runs in the first, one on Steven Vogt’s sacrifice fly and two more on Elvis Andrus’ double just past a diving Matt Chapman at third base.
Alejandro Kirk’s RBI single in the fourth hinted at a rally, but solo shots by Ramon Laureano in the fifth and Vogt leading off the sixth put the game out of reach before an announced USA Independence Day attendance of 24,403.
The loss was the fourth in a row and the third since they learned of Julia’s death.
“I don’t want to make that excuse, but we feel it, of course, because we’re human beings and we’re a team and we care about Bud,” Montoyo said. “We feel it. But it was more our approach at the plate today, I think.
The five runs (four earned) against Manoa were a season-high on a night when his fastball average of 92.4 mph was well below his season mark of 94. He had little to say about the outing he was planning “to turn on the trash can, forget it and carry on,” and wasn’t sure how the recent darkness had affected the team’s play.
“Personally, I just tried to go out there and give the team a spark, but I couldn’t do it,” he said. “So until tomorrow, put some energy into the dugout and get this thing going.”
There is no choice there because the schedule continues to work.
Bijo recalls feeling “an aura around our dugout and our clubhouse,” which he described as “just heavy,” and the way “all of our minds and hearts were immediately away from this game that we were playing.”
Although Budzinksi’s role is as a first base coach and his duties include working with the outfielders, he has an impact on players throughout the roster. Biggio takes extra fly balls with him as part of the game around the defensive diamond and praised him for his willingness and commitment to his players.
“He’s one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet in this game,” Bijo said. “He’s always positive and to be so positive all the time in this game when it’s so easy to be negative says something about the type of person he is.”
This is the type of person that others want to care about, especially in times of great grief like what he and the Blue Jays are going through right now.
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